


Do What You Can

by tinknevertalks



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Pre-Series, dagger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 16:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinknevertalks/pseuds/tinknevertalks
Summary: Ashley finds a ceremonial dagger in her mother's room.





	Do What You Can

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xbleeple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbleeple/gifts).



> Another angsty one for Bad Things Happen Bingo (kinda obviously?). Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine. (If I've missed an important tag, please let me know, because I don't want to be the person who triggers a panic attack or what have you by tagging badly.)
> 
> A Bad Things Happen Bingo fic for the prompt: Hidden Scar (xbleeple asked that it be in relation to Ashley, which was fun to do).

It was the most beautiful thing Ashley had ever seen in her mother’s room, ever. In a dark, wooden box, inlaid with mother of pearl and gilt edging, lay a silver dagger. The blade, straight and reflective, seemed plain compared to the decorative hilt. Intricate engravings of vines and nymphs danced around the grip. In the pommel sat a huge peridot, the fractals not quite as sparkling as a diamond but just as hypnotic. The guard, the same silver, had leaves of the same peridots dotting the surface. She had no idea why this dagger was hidden away in a box, but suddenly all she wanted was to hide it in her own room, to be the only one to look at it in the solitude of her own four walls.

Would her mom notice it gone?

Could she ‘borrow’ it without an alarm being raised?

Looking around the room, listening intently, she grabbed it. Instantly, she knew she had to keep this dagger safe, on her person, away from everyone’s prying eyes. With one last furtive look, she closed the box and ran out of the room, dagger pressed against her leg.

\--

Collapsing on her bed, Ashley stared up at the ceiling, heart pounding. She’d been on a mission with her mom, and while it had gone ok, her mom had been distracted. Almost the minute they got back to the Sanctuary she’d disappeared down to the lab with the abnormal, leaving Ashley in the foyer, dripping wet from the rain, blood rushing through her. She’d trudged through the building, finally making it to her room. Changing into something more comfortable, she collapsed on the bed.

Everything felt too full in her head, like she had too much in her. Too many conflicting emotions, battling for dominance, and nothing clear coming through. Why had her mom gone straight to the lab? Why didn’t they share her usual post mission tea? What had she done wrong?

“Too much,” she muttered, sitting up quickly. Dashing to her wardrobe, she shifted some boxes to get to her secret compartment. Wrapping her hand around the grip, the calm she felt the first time she’d held the dagger washed through her. She knew what would help right now. Heading to her en suite, she locked the door. She doubted anyone would be wanting her at this hour, but she wasn’t taking any chances. Pushing down her trousers, she took a breath, resting the cold metal against her thigh.

This would help.

It always did.

\--

Helen paced up and down the infirmary corridor, eyes straying to Ashley on the gurney. She’d been knocked out cold by a gryphon, the claws tearing at her before Helen had been able to distract the abnormal. Capturing it, she made arrangements to get the creature and Ashley home safely, but now…

She looked at her little girl again, not so little any more. The scars had surprised her, almost scared her. How could she have missed it? How had she been so blind? The litany of tiny white lines marring Ashley’s thigh was nothing short of a requiem, an outcry for… something.

Why did she hurt herself? How did she do it?

“Mom?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “Ashley,” she breathed, dashing to her bed. “How’s your head?”

Ashley’s eyes narrowed for a moment. “Like I’ve been ten rounds with the Big Guy… Are you ok? You look… You don’t look so good.”

Helen smiled. “Never mind me, darling. Let’s get you better.”

“Ok… Love you, mom,” she murmured sleepily, eyes closing again.

Stroking Ashley’s hair, Helen sat on the edge of gurney for a minute or two. Now wasn’t the time to ask why. With only the ticking clock to hear her words, Helen leant over and brushed a kiss to Ashley’s forehead, an action she hadn’t done in a very long time. “I’m so sorry, my sweet darling.”


End file.
